By Vin Sparks
Carlton Biggs, an Astronomy enthusiast, was looking through his telescope from the roof of his condo building at First and Winnebago streets over the weekend of June 3rd & 4th. He happened upon something strange on the surface of the moon but couldn’t quite make it out.
“I was excited because I thought I might be seeing equipment left by the first astronauts”, explained the amateur astronomer. “You see, they originally landed in the area of Mare Tranquilitatis (Sea of Tranquility).” Mr. Biggs was looking in a crater near there.
He was back several nights later (last Thursday, June 8, 2017) with a more powerful telescope he borrowed from a friend. Through the Celestron 127 EQ PowerSeeker Telescope, Mr. Biggs, point by point, began retracing his steps to find his way back to the same spot on the lunar surface as he was looking at earlier that week.
“I was astonished at how easily I found my way back”, he gushed. “That’s the difference a good telescope makes.” Mr. Biggs immediately found the anomaly he was looking at before and said he began the process of “getting in for a closer look, so to speak.”
Just two adjustments in power from where he had been and he said that he could not believe his eyes! He took a series of photographs because he said that he knew it would be hard to believe, but there it was!
The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile!?
“Shut the f… front door!” I exclaimed. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” Mr. Biggs was not kidding. There it was as plain as day in the photograph. I protested that he had used PhotoShop to alter the picture, but he swore that he had not. He then invited me back that evening to have a look for myself.
I took him up on that offer and on his roof, through a borrowed telescope, on Monday June 12, 2017 at 11:37PM CST – I saw the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile on the lunar surface with my own one eye.
A CALL TO NASA
First thing on Tuesday morning back in the office, I got on the phone with NASA to see if I could get some answers. I spent the whole day getting transferred from one phone tree to another, leaving message after message and to date, I have not received a returned call.
This morning, Wednesday, June 14, 2017, I thought I would give Oscar Mayer a call. I was forwarded directly to one of the Vice Presidents of Marketing, a Ms. Rebecca Landover who took my call without hesitation and proudly proclaimed, “Hell yes we’ve got a Wienermobile on the moon!”
I fell out of my chair!
“It is part of our ‘A Hot Dog in Every Hand’ promotion,” explained Ms. Landover. “We’ve got Wienermobiles going to every city in the country this summer giving away our new recipe hot dogs.”
But…but, I tried to get my question out but couldn’t.
“How did we get the Wienermobile to the moon?” she asked.
“YES!” I responded.
“SpaceX”, she answered. “It turns out Elon Musk is a big fan of Oscar Mayer hot dogs.” She said that the aerospace manufacturer and space transport company CEO broke into song right on the phone, “Oh I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner…” I didn’t believe her.
“At any rate,” she said. “Mr. Musk offered to rocket the Wienermobile to the moon as an extension to our marketing campaign and said that both companies would get PR traction from it.” Ms. Landover explained that all they were waiting for was for an amateur stargazer to see it.
So, there it is then. A local from Schenk Corners was the first to see it. He wins a ride in the Wienermobile. Spoofing Willy Street was the first to break the story, we get…?