Holden Caulfield on Valentines Day

Valentine’s Day. What a Croc!

By Holden Caulfield

It’s just another phony holiday made up by some card company to sell more greeting cards to the hypocrites that say they’re in love with each other, but they’re not because, if push came to shove, it’s all about me, me, me.

If you’re in love, you’re supposta do everything for the other person first. Your stuff comes last. You’re supposta wanna be with your girl even before hangin’ out with your buddies. I never new a girl that would keep me from hangin’ out with my buddies. Even though they’re a bunch of hypocrites too. Well…except maybe Jane Gallagher, from that summer when I was a kid, or maybe Jessica Biel.

So, how come everything about the other person is a joke? The fella always calls his girl, “the ball and chain” or “the old lady”. The girl always calls her guy “the old man” or the “the lazy good-for-nuthin, bum”. Both of them always complaining about the other one.

Then, on Valentine’s Day, like a bunch of sheep, they all go down to the drug store to buy that card, a box of cruddy chocolates and cheap roses. What a croc! I could puke every time I think of it.

If you’re young and you meet a girl that you wanna be with all the time and you can’t think of anything else, that’s not love either, for crying out loud. That’s infatuation. There’s a difference.

Its so hard to find the real stuff. You take somebody that cries their dumb eyes out over phony stuff in the movies, and nine times out of ten they’re mean people at heart. I’m interested in the real stuff.

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